I am a wedding & event planner based in Nashville, Tennessee. I have advised over 600 couples about what I feel they should do about their wedding details. I can do that professionally. I am confident in the advice I give as it is based on years of experience in the event industry.
One question I have never been asked up until March of 2020 is...what happens if a pandemic hits the United States? When we first heard of COVID-19, the event industry knew we would be affected but we had no idea and continue to navigate how this pandemic will affect the event industry. It has been devastation to so many long standing Nashville wedding vendors and it has been heartbreaking to watch people I love lose their jobs or shut down their businesses due to COVID-19.
Professionally, I walked through the difficult decision of postponing multiple weddings with my clients. All my March, April, May and half of my June Brides postponed to the fall or spring of 2021. But what happens if we start to re-open and a second wave comes, and the fall is postponed again. At what point do we say… “enough is enough!”
One of my clients had enough. After their beautiful destination wedding in Napa was cancelled and they tried multiple times to have a small wedding, they made the choice to gather with a few family members and Zoom their wedding across the United States to their family and friends and it was beautiful. The focus was on their love…technical difficulties and all. Here is a highlight of their perfectly unplanned wedding by Ever Creative.
I can sympathize with my clients. I have always based my business around building relationships with my clients. I have also spent almost two decades building relationships with my vendors. So when I know that some of the best of the best wedding industry companies in Nashville will not make it through this, it is heartbreaking. My vendors and clients are family to me.
But what happens when it hits me personally. I am engaged to be married in May of 2020 and we just recently had to make the personal decision to postpone our wedding. It is a decision that no one wants to make. I was one of those people. I did not want to say the wedding is postponed. I wanted to hold onto the day I have thought and dreamed about as long as I possibly could.
We own a wedding venue called Pinewood Retreat and we have worked tirelessly to make the property perfect for our clients but also for our big day. All the details are planned. We invited our family and friends. We have built a team of vendors that we love that may or may not be available for the new date whenever that may be. The hotel rooms are filled. The tuxes are ordered. I have my dress which may not fit the season of the new date...whenever that may be. The kids have their perfect dresses that they will not be able to wear because…kids grow fast and won’t fit in them next year.
I have envisioned each guest that means so much to us sitting in those chairs as I walked by them going down the aisle. I have done what every bride does when she dreams of having that perfect day. So, when the decision was made, I was sad. I was very sad. That perfect day I have dreamed of wasn’t going to happen on a date that we picked with our family around us during the holidays.
There are a few choices you have to make when you are faced with the decision to postpone your wedding.
What is the most important to you? Is it more important to marry your fiancé on a particular day that was decided a long time ago or do you want to have the big party with your friends and family on a later date? There is not a right or wrong answer here it is just what this all comes down to. Which one is more important?
When do you want to “Try this again?” This is interesting time we are in. When we first picked out our date, there was no doubt. We knew whatever date we picked out, people would come, the vendors would show up and everything would go as planned. Now, if we were to pick a new date, there is uncertainty. Do we try to reschedule for the fall? Do we push to next year? If we push to next year, will we invite the same people? A lot can happen in a year. Will we be as close to those we originally invited and want to invite them again? Will our loved ones have the ability to celebrate with us? I have had to realize that regardless of the new date, it will be different than what we originally planned.
There is one thing that is not going to change. I will marry my best friend one day. To me, that is what is most important. To start a life with someone I love, value, respect and adore. He is my person. It does not matter when or how we get married. I just want to be his wife.
I spend a lot of time with my clients on having perspective. The bigger picture here is that a wedding day is just the first day of your life together. It is not even the best day you will ever have together. Yes, we are to celebrate it and plan an amazing party. I would be out of business if people did not want that special day. The purpose of a wedding day is to be married.
So, I challenge each of you who are making the tough decision of if you should postpone your wedding to have perspective. What is most important to you as a couple and make the decision based on that. So often I see clients who are consumed with what everyone else thinks about their wedding that they lose themselves and do not enjoy their wedding day. They are too worried about everyone else that they lose perspective on what is most important. Continue to determine what is most important and know that you will be married. Postponing your wedding does not have to be a bad thing.
Use this time to grow your relationship with your fiancé. Date them again…when we can…because often times clients get so consumed with the wedding that they forget to continue to grow their relationship. Remember the most important thing is your marriage. What kind of marriage do you want? Take this time to focus on that. It will make the new day even more special because you will appreciate it so much more.